Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot

  • The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.

  • The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method.

  • Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.

  • If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

  • Doing the job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

  • Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.

  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

  • Statistics tell us that married men are likely to live 3 years longer than single men. But psychology tells us that married men are more willing to die.

  • Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?



The Difference Between Small & Large Breasts

WOMEN WITH BIG BREASTS…

..can get a taxi on the worst days

..have a neat place to carry spare change

..have always been the center of the arts (art)

..make jogging a spectator sport

..can keep a magazine dry while laying in the tub

..have more negotiating power (with men shorter than them)

..usually can find leftover popcorn after a movie

..can always carry a little extra

..always float better

..know where to look first for lost earrings

..rarely lack for a slow dance partner

..have a place to set their glasses when sitting in an armless recliner

WOMEN WITH LITTLE BREASTS…

..don’t cause a traffic accident every time they bend over in public

..always look younger

..find that dribbled food makes it to the napkin on their lap

..can always see their toes and shoes

..can sleep on their stomachs

..have no trouble sliding behind the wheel of small cars

..know that people can read the entire message on their t-shirts

..know that everything more than a handful is wasted

..can come late to a theater and not disrupt an entire aisle

..can take aerobic class without running the risk of knocking themselves

out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everybody that has been on the Internet for awhile has seen those cute

little emoticons. You know the smiley faces laying side ways such as :-)

and others. Well here are some BOOBICONS! This list will help you with

their identification.

(o)(o) – perfect breasts

( + )( + ) – fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) – high nipple breasts

(@)(@) – big nipple breasts (you know who you are)

oo – A cups

{ O }{ O } – D cups

(oYo) – wonder bra breasts

( ^)( ^) – cold breasts

(o)(O) – lopsided breasts

(Q)(Q) – pierced nipples breasts

(p)(p) – breasts with hanging tassels

(:o)(o) – bitten by a vampire breasts

o/o/ – Grandma’s breasts

( – )( – ) – flat against the shower door breasts

< o < o - electric shock breasts

|o||o| – android breasts

(/)(o) – scratched breasts (ouch)

(%)(o) – extra nipple breasts

($)($) – Jenny McCarthy’s breasts

(^o)(o) – zit on your breast

( o Y o ) – poses for playboy magazine breasts

~~~ ~~~~

Breast Enlargement Exercises

A lady wanted bigger breasts, so she went to her doctor to get a

referral to a plastic surgeon. Her doctor said he would like her to try

an exercise before surgery or drugs, and see how it works first. He

stood up to demonstrate, held his arms straight out to the side, rotated

them counterclockwise, and said, “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if I do

this enough, I’ll have a big bust.” The doctor had her try it. He told

her to do it as often as she can, and to come back in a week.

One week later, she’s back at the doctor, and tells him that it didn’t

work. The doctor asks her how often she did the exercise, she says 4-5

times a day. The doctor tells her to do it more, 30 times a day at

least, and asks her to come back in 1 week. She tries this, performing

the exercise whenever she can.

One day, as she waited to check out at Safeway, she started her

exercise. “Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if I do this enough, I’ll have

a big bust.”

The man in front of her turns around, asks if she sees Dr. Johnson.

“Yes, how did you know?” she queries.

The man faces her, places both hands on his hips, moves his hips in a

circular motion, and says, “Hickory dickory dock…….”