Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bed-ridden for weeks?

  • Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

  • How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

  • It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now!

  • Why is it that banks always make it sound like you are so lucky that they have extended your credit limit? I mean it's not like I won a prize, but more like extra bullets for my gun in a game of Russian Rolette...

  • And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on Me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

  • Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

  • The difference between the Pope and your boss....The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

  • I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

  • You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.



A reporter goes way up into the hills of West Virginia to write an article about the area. He meets an old man in a small town and asks him about any memorable events in his life.

The old man says, “Well, one time my favorite sheep got lost, so me and my neighbors got some moonshine and went looking for it. We looked and looked and finally found the sheep. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the sheep. It was a lot of fun!”

The reporter figured he can’t write an article about that, so he asked the old man to tell him another story.

The old man said, “Well, one time my neighbor’s wife got lost, so me and all the village men got some moonshine and went out looking for her. We looked and looked and finally we found her. Then we drank the moonshine and one by one, started shagging the neighbor’s wife. Now, THAT was a lot of fun!”

The reporter, feeling frustrated, finally told the old man that he couldn’t write articles about those stories and asked him if he had any dramatic or sad memories that he could talk about.

The old man paused a little and with a sad expression on his face said –

“Well, one time I was lost …”