Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh."

Isn't it funny how the mood can be ruined so quickly by just one busted condom.

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing.

What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free???

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?