Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

  • There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

  • Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

  • Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

  • I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

  • "Buffet". A French word that means "Get up & get it yourself!"

  • My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 5 hours to Hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

  • One should love animals. They are so tasty.

  • It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.

  • The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.



There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mello Yello. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.

“Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?” She looked at him and indignantly replied: “Well Duhhh!, I’m still winning”