Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

  • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

  • Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

  • I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

  • The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'

  • One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

  • Stupidity is like nuclear power, it can be used for good or evil. But you still don't want to get any on you.

  • Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

  • When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.



After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank

robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks,

“Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?”

“Yes, we have, your honor,” the foreman responded.

“Would you please pass it to me,” the judge declared, as he

motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the

foreman and deliver it to him.

After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the

verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman

and instructs the foreman, “Please read your verdict to the

court.”

“We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank

robbery,” stated the foreman.

The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the

verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine

gratitude.

The man’s attorney turns to his client and asks, “So, what do

you think about that?”

The defendant, with a bewildered look on his face turns to his

attorney and says, “I’m real confused here. Does this mean

that I have to give all the bank money back?”