Random Thought
“Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Drinking on the job!

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After

mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the

pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the glass of water. If I start to

get nervous, I take a sip.”

So next Sunday he took the monsignor”s advice.

At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He

proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he

found the following not on the door.

1. Sip the vodka, don”t gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments not 12

3. There are 12 disciples not 10

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and

the Spook.

7. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked of his donkey, don”t say he

was stoned of his ass.

10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T”

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, “Take this and

eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me!”

12. The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry”.

13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-a-dub-bud thanks for

the grub.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter”s, not a

peter pulling contest at St. Taffy”s.


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