Random Thought
“God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Driving a Chevy Impala!

The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded

into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve.

The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.

The type of car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured

out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow

gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off – actually a solid fuel

rocket) that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra

“push” for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy Impala

out into the desert and found a long and straight stretch of road.

Then he attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, got up some speed and

fired off the JATO! The facts as best as could be determined are that the

operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance of

approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established by the

prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The JATO, if

operating properly, would have reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds,

causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and continuing

at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver, and soon to be

pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog

fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners, causing him to become

insensible for the remainder of the event. However, the automobile remained

on the straight highway for about 2.5 miles (15-20 seconds) before the

driver applied and completely melted the brakes, blowing the tires and

leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for

an additional 1.4 miles and impacting the cliff face at a height of 125

feet leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver’s remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments

of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and

bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of

the steering wheel. Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron nearly

reached Mach I, attaining a ground speed of approximately 420 mph!


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