Random Thought
“A smoking section in a restaraunt is like a peeing section in a pool.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon A Cynics Guide to Life

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and

a leaky

tyre.

I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a

foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts

and…

Always take time to stop and smell the roses… and sooner or later,

you’ll inhale a bee.

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of

me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.

If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road.

That’s why the roads department made so many of them.

If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the

message across like a good mooning.

When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run

to the end of his chain and gag himself.

It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal the

neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near the phone. That way,

when a salesman calls, you can hold the receiver up to it and run your

fingernails across it until he hangs up.

Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four food groups: the

lolly group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine group, and the

“whatever-the-thing-in-the-alfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is” group.

Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are

down.

It’s a small world. So you’ve got to use your elbows a lot.

Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder to the wheel…it’s

cheaper than plastic surgery.

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.

Love is like a roller coaster: when it’s good you don’t want to get off,

and when it isn’t… you can’t wait to throw up.


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