Random Thought
“I was at a restaurant yesterday. I asked the waiter for the black pepper, and he gave me the Sowetan.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Excuses for missing work!

Favorite excuses for missing work:

My stigmata’s acting up.

I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my

previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I have a rare case of 48-hour wrist leprosy, but I know

we have that deadline to meet…

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food


I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I

shouldn’t come to work knowing my employee records may

now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even

gave me this jaw restraint so I won’t bite things when I am


The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma….it’s Monday.

My stepmother has come back as one of the Undead and we must

track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart

and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax.

I insist on paying my fair share.

I was up on a ladder decorating the Christmas tree when my mother

called me and told me I was Jewish. I fell off the ladder.

I’ve used up all my sick days…so I’m calling in dead!

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