Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.

  • In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

  • Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

  • Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

  • Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

  • Bricks are horrible to carry.

  • Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

  • How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

  • Some mornings I wake up grumpy, other mornings I just let her sleep!

  • It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.



Actual Answers Given By Contestants On The Game Show Family Feud:

Name something a blind person might use – A sword

Name a song with moon in the title – Blue suede moon

Name a bird with a long neck – Naomi Campbell

Name a dangerous race – The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers – A horse

Name something that floats in the bath – Water

Name a famous cowboy – Buck Rogers

A number you have to memorize – 7

Something you do before going to bed – Sleep

Something you put on walls – Roofs

Something in the garden that’s green – Shed

Something that flies that doesn’t have an engine – A bicycle with wings

Name a famous bridge – The bridge over troubled waters

Something you do in the bathroom – Decorate

Something associated with the police – Pigs

A sign of the zodiac – April

Something slippery – A con-man

Something with a hole in it – Window

A non living object with legs – Plant

A domestic animal – Leopard

A part of the body beginning with ‘N’ – Knee

Something you open other than a door – Your bowels