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PostHeaderIcon More Definitions from Oz…!

Aussie Kiss:

Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Back End of the Batmobile:

The state of your Brass Eye soon after you eat a really hot curry. “I had a Ring Stinger in the Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I’ve got a dose of Gandhi’s Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the Batmobile.”

Beaver Leaver (or Vagina Decliner):

A homosexual.

Beer Coat:

The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze-up at 3 in the morning.

Beer Compass:

The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze up, even though you’re too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you’ve come from.

BOBFOC:

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

Bone of Contention:

A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

Breaking the Seal:

Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

BVH:

Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.

Cider Visor:

Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

Cock-A-Doodle-Poo:

The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.

Crappuccino:

The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you get when abroad.

Etch-A-Sketch:

Trying to draw a smile on a woman’s face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

Frigmarole:

Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

Going For a McShit:

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you’re just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you’ll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

Greyhound:

A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Hand-to-Gland Combat:

A vigorous masturbation session.

McSplurry:

The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast food restaurants.

Millennium Domes:

The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there’s actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.

Mystery Bus:

The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you’re in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

Mystery Taxi:

The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10 Pinter in your bed instead.

NBR:

No Beers Required. Someone that you’d chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.

Picasso Arse:

A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she’s got 4 buttocks.

Starfish Trooper (or Arsetronaut.) :

A homosexual.

10-Pinter:

Someone that you’d only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

2-Bagger:

Someone that you’d need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)

Titanic:

A lady who goes down first time out.

Todger Dodger:

A lesbian.

X-Piles:

Unwanted visitors from Uranus.


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