Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

  • All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

  • People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.

  • I can walk on water, but I stagger on alcohol.

  • The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.

  • If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.

  • The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

  • There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL convertible.

  • The greatest enemy of man is alcohol, but the bible tells us to love thy enemy...... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!



The teacher told Nuno to use the following words in a sentence.

1. *Cheese*

Nuno replies: Maria likes me, but cheese fat.

2. *Mushroom*

When all my family get in the car, there’s not mushroom.

3. *Shoulder*

My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I shoulder.

4. * Texas *

My fren always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at!

5. *Herpes*

Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.

6. *July*

Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!

7. *Rectum*

I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!

8. *Chicken*

I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.

9. *Wheelchair*

We only have one prego left, but don’t worry wheelchair

10. *Chicken* *wing*

My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.

11. *Harassment*

My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey harassment nothing to me.

12. *Bishop*

My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.

13. *Body wash*

I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids.

14. *Budweiser*

That woman over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?


Teacher asks little Portuguese boy to use the following words in sentences and he comes up with the strangest things.