Joke Overflow –  Joke Archive

Random Thoughts

  • Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your ass thrown in jail if you really tried them.

  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

  • Drinking more than seven nights a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible.

  • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

  • Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.

  • By the time a man's wife learns to understand him, she has usually stopped listening to him.

  • I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

  • Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

  • After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.



Top Ten Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active:

10. Pair of edible Depends found on bedroom floor.

9. Lately, at night, they put their teeth in the same glass.

8. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn.”

7. Granny found cuffed to her walker.

6. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

5. Grandma regularly looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.

4. Your “Grandma” is Anna Nicole Smith.

3. You’ve just seen the photos in the “BeaverHunt” section of the May(1927) issue of Hustler.

2. Grandmother starts baking Viagra-chip cookies.

1. Kraft-matic adjustable bed set for “doggystyle.”