Random Thought
“I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Some awesome definitions!

Some of these gems are worth noting…

Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Beaver Leaver: or Vagina Decliner. A homosexual.

Beer Coat: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze

cruise at 3 in the morning.

Beer Compass: The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after

a booze cruise, even though you’re too pissed to remember where you live, how

you get there, and where you’ve come from.

BOBFOC: Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

Boiler Suit: The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus

aforethought, score with a Bobfoc last night. This charge is usually brought

by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.

Bone of Contention: A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises

when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

Breaking the Seal: Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of rinking.

After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be

required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

Budgie’s Tongue: or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue Punchbag. The female

erection.

Double Bass: A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind,

and then fiddles with the woman’s nipples with one hand and her Budgie’s

Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a

double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

Etch-A-Sketch: Trying to draw a smile on a woman’s face by twiddling both of

her nipples simultaneously.

Flogging On: Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

Free the Tadpoles: Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

Frigmarole: Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit: The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap

at too high a speed.

Going For a McShit: Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying

food, you’re just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member,

your declaration to them that you’ll buy their food afterwards is a McShit

With Lies.

Greyhound: A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Hand-to-Gland Combat: A vigorous masturbation session.

Millennium Domes: The contents of a Wonderbra.

i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there’s actually

fuck-all in there worth seeing.

Monkey Bath: A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: “Oo!Oo!

Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!”.

Mystery Bus: The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you’re in

the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people

so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

Mystery Taxi: The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before

you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter

in your bed instead.

NBR: No Beers Required. Someone that you’d chat up instantly in the pub. The

opposite of a 10-Pinter.

Picasso Arse: A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks

like she’s got 4 buttocks.

Sperm Wail: or Spuphemism. A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

Starfish Trooper: or Arsetronaut. A homosexual.

10-Pinter: Someone that you’d only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

Titanic: A lady who goes down first time out.

Todger Dodger: A lesbian.

Wank Seance: During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you’re being

watched with disgust by your dead relatives.

X-Piles: Unwanted visitors from Uranus.


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