The Perfect Day According To…

HER

8:45 – Wake up to hugs and kisses

9:00 – 5 pounds lighter on the scale

9:30 – Light breakfast

11:00 – Sunbathe

12:30 – Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe

1:45 – Shopping

2:30 – Run into husband’s ex – notice she’s gained 30lbs.

3:00 – Facial, massage, nap

7:30 – Candlelight dinner for two and dancing

10:00 – Make love

11:30 – Pillow talk in his big strong arms

HIM

10:00 – Wake up

10:02 – SEX

10:10 – Big Breakfast

11:30 – Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters

2:15 – Enormous lunch with BEER

3:15 – SEX

3:25 – Play sports with the guys

4:30 – Drink BEER with the guys

6:30 – Meet Claudia Schiffer

6:40 – SEX

6:50 – Huge dinner, more BEER

8:00 – Fall asleep with BEER watching TV while dreaming of having SEX with Claudia Shiffer

11:00 – Full on, get down, gorilla SEX, more BEER

11:10 – Sleep

2:30 – Fart