Random Thought
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon To define is divine!

ADULTERY – The wrong people doing the right thing.

ALIMONY – The screwing you get for the screwing you got.

BABY – A hollow tube with a loud voice at one end and a complete lack of responsibility at the other end.

CANNIBAL – One who is apt to pass his best friend.

CHIVALRY – A mans inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

CONSCIENCE – That which hurts when everything else feels so good.

CONSTIPATION – To have and to hold.

COOKIE – A virgin doughnut.

DANCE – A Naval engagement without the loss of seamen.

DIVORCE – What happens when two people cannot stomach each other any longer.

DECOY – A flashlight in the pants pocket.

DIARY – Book of revelations.

DOCTOR – A lucky fellow who is privileged to undress women and go all over them without getting his face slapped.

ENEMA – A goose with a gush.

EXPLORATION – Beating around the bush.

FATHER’S DAY – Nine months before labor day.

GENTLEMAN – One who is always careful to rest at least half his weight on his elbows.

GIGGALO – The egg that laid the golden Goose.

GLAMOUR GIRL – a much publicized young thing who is full of oomf, and frequently full of other things; one who doesn’t worry about the meat shortage.

HORSE SHOW – A lot of horses showing their asses to a lot of horses’ asses showing their horses.

HUSBAND – What is left after the nerve has been killed.

KEPT WOMAN – One who wears mink all day and fox all night.

HUNG CHOW – Chinese constipation.

A KISS – Upper persuasion for lower invasion; upstairs shopping for downstairs merchandise.

MASTURBATION – A solo played on a private organ.

METALLURGIST – A man who can look at a platinum blonde and tell whether she is virgin metal or a common ore.

MINUTE MAN – One who double parks while he visits a sporting house.

MORNING – The time of day when the rising generation retires, and the retiring generation arises.

MOTHER’S DAY – Nine months after fathers day.

MULE BARBECUE- Where everybody gets a piece of ass.

NUN – A woman who ain’t never had none, don’t want none, and ain’t going to get none.

NURSE – A pan handler.

NURSERY – A place to park last years fun until it grows up a bit.

PAPOOSE – Consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

PIMP – A crack salesman; a nookie bookie.

PREGNANCY – When a woman is all swelled up from her mate’s handiwork.

RHUMBA – An asset to music.

SECRETARY – A stenographer who watches her periods.

SIN – Anything the other fellow enjoys and you don’t.

SISSY – A man who gets out of the bath tub to take a leak.

SPRING FEVER – When the iron in your blood turns to lead in your pencil.

STORK – The bird that had none of the fun in bringing the babies.

TAXIDERMIST – A man who mounts animals.

TOMCAT – A ball bearing mouse trap.

TRIPLETS – Having to take seriously what was poked at you in fun.

VISE – Anything you enjoy that is bad for you.

VIRGINITY – A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it’s gone forever.

VIRGIN WOOL – Wool from a sheep that can outrun a sheep herder.


Comments are closed.