Random Thought
“The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.”

Another Thought...

PostHeaderIcon Warning, Read the Label!

Some examples of why the human race has probably

evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction

labels on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it’s ‘just’ a suggestion!)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:

Fits one head.

(The big one or the little one?)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure??? Let’s experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn’t that save more time?)

(Whose body?)

On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we

just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(or pets! What’s for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(have a lobotomy)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child’s Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(That’s right, destroy a universal childhood belief)


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