A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on the son-of-a-bitch who screwed us in the past.

He who hesitates is probably right

A little more moderation would be good. Of course, my life hasn't exactly been one of moderation.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished.