You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.

The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.

The income tax has made more liars out of people than golf has.

The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'

The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.