I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

It's a small world. So you've got to use your elbows a lot.

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.

Going to war over religion: You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.