A flat will occur when you are without a spare. This will happen after your significant other has reminded you to get one. He/She will be in the car.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the normally the headlight of the oncoming train.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong ...

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

The face is familiar but I can't quite remember my name...

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Makes sense)

When something good happens, you drink in order to celebrate, when something bad happens, you drink in order to forget, and when nothing happens, you drink in order to make something happen!