Going to war over religion: You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!!!

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway !

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere...

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.